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A few weeks ago. Sunday. Tattered carpet and old 90s cabinets. In my mind it’s all humble but the mountains exalt our living room at sunset. Josie tells me she’s leaving for Thibodaux. 10 years with me. She’s 22, married, going home. Her big smile- the smile she had when she still wore braces. She holds much in like me. I confess I wish we had more time. She cries with me. The house is messy. I’ll miss her and Aaron, her husband- all their help and companionship. Best friends. They go on without us. We cheer our gift on till our echo fades. Then Tommy on the phone. I’m on a run, sun shining, spring blooming, purple flowers, fair-weather friendlies out walking. My only family here. Moving back to Louisiana. Same town as Josie. Thibodaux. One town pulling anchors up in the same week. And other news came too. Same week. Wake up calls come in threes. More time, I wish. I wish I had helped you, Josie, more. I wish I had written, more. I wish I had shared my true voice. That I listened. Showed you fearless. Ripped off more bandaids. Do what I love. Build what moves. Build what helps. Build what connects. But I tended the body when days were easy. Banked the fire before cold came down. When the hard hour knocked I was already standing. The east goes gold. I am a child all smiles and an old man with tears. A new time swings open. Before, I felt it. Now, I’ll do it.

To change the world, hear the inner story. Reading "good inside" by Dr. Becky Kennedy - most empowering book I've ever read.

End of an era. 10 years with me, with the fam, in Utah and Los Angeles. Now she heads to Cajun land with her boo. "I wish we had more time. More because it was good" Love you Josie. 📸 2 images — https://microstream.app/p/489

You put your head on my shoulder and said, "that was a good day"

Living the dream. Let's make it last.

Best part of my birthday was Josie's letter to me at our Project Hail Mary movie date. She also made me an animation: https://m.microstream.app/i/7bd885d 📸 3 images — https://microstream.app/p/486

Love you mr sun. Thanks for the dance round your skin a few times. It's almost enough, except for those who still seek peace under your warmth. My heart radiates out like yours. From one forever to another, cheers.

Was working with a new therapist tonight. They were doom scrolling (TikTok/insta) while they were by all professional and cultural standards, supposed to be deeply engaged. I realised this, while looking into their eyes, deeply engaged with them, seeing their reflection very clearly in their glasses. I had to stare for a bit to be sure. To ready myself for the awkwardness. We gracefully confronted the issue. Relationship over as it was blossoming. Align work & life? Hard. Body & mind fit for black diamonds? Damn hard. Trying to do both, where full presence comes for free.

Destroyed love again. Pushed so hard, rode the edge and caught a lip. Bite down hard with no mouth guard and let it bleed. Like Judas, twice betrayer today. Scared on the hill, cowering in panic, of who knows what. But you were there to pull me up. Punched your fist through the sludge that we tried to bury. That’s my girl. Don’t dwell on my mistakes. My complaining, mansplaining, thinking I’ve done it all, do it all and I can barely put together a coherent story. The recipe for the good life. Ride the ledge, catch the lip and turn it upward. Grimpons babe.

Go to bed? No thank you!